With all the controversy surrounding Germany’s new home kit, here are a few samples of kit atrocities that have been seen in the Bundesliga in the last few decades. There’s always at least one that’s worse.
DISCLAIMER: YOU MAY FIND SOME OF THESE IMAGES DISTURBING.
RB Leipzig 2013-2014. Everything that is wrong with modern football.
Borussia Dortmund 92-93. If you can’t beat them fairly, blind them with an eye-scorching bright colour. Design believed to have been themed on the refuse collectors of the city.
Schalke 04 Alternative 2011-2012. It takes a confident man to carry off a shirt of this colour, especially surprising to see it on a Schalke player!
Greuther Fürth Away 2013-2014. Orange, with little triangles. Reminds me of my floor when my little sister was sick after drinking 1.5 litres of Fanta and too many sweets.
VfL Bochum 2009-2010. Did they run out print or is the distressed look popular amongst Bochum fans? Probably the latter.
Eintracht Frankfurt Away 93-94. Ever heard of contemporary art? This is it, only that it’s cheap and on a football shirt.
Bayern München Amateure. Not strictly Bundesliga but a great value football shirt nonetheless. If the action is bad on the pitch you can play chess on the shirt.
Hannover 96 Away 2009-2010. This shirt scares me. That smile gives me the creeps.
Werder Bremen Away 2011-2012. Orange and gold, always a winning combination. Throw in some big arrows pointing down and you have a real masterpiece. As you can see in the picture, the players are elated with their snazzy new kit.
VfL Osnabrück 83-85. This looks like it’s made out of material used make one of my grandmother’s blouses. The pent-up static in this shirt could power the stadium on match day.
VfL Bochum Away 93-94. Bochum, a regular in this section, brought us this gem which resembles more something an Evil Knievel wannabe would wear instead of a football shirt.
1860 München 2012 Oktoberfest edition. This shirt is so bad even the player couldn’t face the camera. Unfortunately for him, his name is on the back.
Schalke 04 92-93. Ractiv? Radioactive more like.
1. FC Köln 97-98. The Billy Goats? More like the Bees after this horrendous effort by Puma.
FC Bayer Uerdingen Away 94-95. When safari meets road signs and magic mushrooms. This kit was banned by the UEFA for crimes against football.
1. FC Kaiserslautern 90-91. The opposing Werder Bremen keeper is trying his hardest not to laugh at this monstrosity of a kit. Under what circumstances do Uhlsport think red, white, black & purple combined with ‘tiger scratches’ is a good idea?
HSV 76-77. Keegan giving his best camp wave and the Barça players holding in their laughter. Enough said.
1860 München Alternative 2010. 1860 released a celebration shirt to visualise all the good times they have had over the years. Pretty sure the shirt also has Wally hiding in it somewhere. I see him in the bottom left.
VfL Bochum 98-99. Whether it’s the blue, white or red version of the shirt, Bochum are a free spirit when it comes to shirts, this ‘beauty’ is based on a rainbow. Unfortunately, they’re still looking for that pot of gold in Bochum.
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