Netherlands 0 – 0 Germany – A Conversation Imagined

The phone call imagined, earlier this week..

Louis van Gaal:  Hallo, Jogi?  This is Louie.

Jogi Löw:  Ahhh, Louie, how are you?

LvG:  Fine, fine.  We have that friendly Wednesday evening, you know….

JL:  Yes, I do recall.  A friendly….we hate each other (chuckles)

LvG:  Yes we do (chuckles).  The pressure is on here, though, after our Euro debacle.

JL:  I know exactly what you mean.  The four goals surrendered to Sweden last time out, yech, can I never hear the end of it?  We need to shut you out or that’s all I’ll hear about all winter.  Defense, defenders, mental frailty.

LvG:  Yes, it’s the end of the year.  Holidays coming.  My guys are tired, nobody really wants to play.  Huub has been texting me, “Afellay or Huntelaar, but not both.”

JL:  Yes I heard from him too.  “Don’t let my boys get hurt.”  I told him they’d have to play, I only got one from Bayern.

LvG:  Yes I saw that…..  we were lucky to get Robben.  Everyone hurt, they’ll probably never win another game with all their injuries.

JL:  (Laughs).  Yes.  I do hope we don’t hurt each other.  I don’t know what everyone wants, we both lead in World Cup qualifying.

LvG:  Exactly, a result would be good Wednesday, to end the year, everyone will be satisfied, Merry Christmas, no?

JL:  Yes, a result.  For both?

LvG:  We’ll see, after all we do hate each other.

JL:  Yes we do.  Should I say hello to Uli for you?

LvG:  He’s probably listening right now.  He had someone figure out how to listen in on my phone calls when I was at Bayern.  Bastard.


LvG:  He never changes.

JL:  I heard that.  By the way, any good clothiers near our hotel.

LvG:  Right around the corner… I’ll text you the gentleman’s name and number.  Call him a bit ahead of time and he will be of great help.  They have a lovely selection of sweaters and scarves.

JL:  Oh, excellent.  A trip not wasted then, eh?  And results all around.

LvG:  Yes, perhaps…..In any case, I’ve got to run. I have to tutor some of my players in half an hour.

JL:  Likewise.  I have to take the boys to the arcade before they close.


Netherlands: Vermeer – van Rhijn (de Vrij 46′), Heitinga (Janmaat 46′), Vlaar, Martins Indi – N. de Jong – Afellay (van Ginkel 59′), van der Vaart (Emanuelson 72′) – Schaken, Kuyt, Robben (Elia 46′)

Germany: Neuer – Höwedes, Mertesacker, Hummels, Lahm – L. Bender (S. Bender 82′), Gündogan – T. Müller (Schürrle 84′), Holtby (Neustädter 87′), Reus (Draxler 90′) – M. Götze (Podolski 72′)

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Gerry Wittmann

Gerry is the founder of the Bundesliga Fanatic. Besides loving German football, he also enjoys the NBA, collecting jerseys and LPs, his pets and wishes he had more time for fishing, bicycling and learning the bass guitar.

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